My Daughter's Abortion

My daughter had an abortion.

We found out we were both pregnant last year, except she was almost 3 weeks ahead of me.

She was a young addict in an abusive relationship. I was the same age when I had her. She didn't know what she wanted in her life but she knew that she couldn't provide. So, I offered to provide in her place.

She grew more attached after having her ultrasound. I grew more attached. 

Then it happened – “Mom, my abortion is scheduled for Thursday. Can you send me money to pay for it?”

I couldn’t sleep that night. I kept apologizing to my grandchild..."I'm sorry. It's not your time." 

I gave her the money and a postpartum pack from my bereavement/birth Doula supplies. I explained the sensations and physical experience she would have after the procedure and what to watch for when she went home. I called the clinic and asked if I could accompany her as a Doula. The clinic refused.

Thursday morning arrived: “I'm sorry little one. I can't save you. You'll come back when the time is right. She's getting her life together. She is my child. I support her. I love her.”